Monday, December 20, 2010

It Came from eBay Hell: V6 Powered Ferrari Fiero-rossa auf Deustchland zukommt*


Suppose you are a used car buyer in Germany, with €9,990 (US$13,199) to spend on some new wheels. Would you - even in your darkest, most masochistic hour - consider buying this...this thing? Let’s run down the list of why you shouldn’t buy this car:

1. It’s a Pontiac Fiero. Yes, it’s mid-engined and built in the good ol’ U.S.A., but it was built in the good ol’ U.S.A. in the 1980s and has a body made of plastic. That’s like saying, “She’s Latino and has a great body, but she has rotten teeth and herpes.”

2. The owner has made some modifications, including the addition of Ferrari Testarossa-style side strakes and a pair of Lotus Type 47-inspired snorkels that look like they’re made of old drainpipes. Classy.

3. The price is ludicrous. You can pick up an immaculate, first generation Toyota MR2 for half that. And a dozen better cars, to boot.

More worrying than the above though is the V6 modification the owner has carried out and the fact the registration papers have expired. Why? Well, it’s a Fiero. Fiero owners, by their very nature, rarely make their cars “better”. And the expired registration papers imply, to me at least, that the car is no longer roadworthy.

So, dear readers, I leave it up to you. Is this V6-engined Ferrari-wannabe a God or a dog? Your verdict, gentlemen and ladies...

* That’s, “from Germany” for those not as savvy with Google Translate as moi.

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